So, by this time, all the Letterbombs should be out and mostly received. We here at The Simon Corporation want to state just how proud we are with this stage of the Benefactor Initiative. We've even got quite a few lovely emails and letters from our satisfied customers! Like Grant Nelson from Dyersville, Iowa. Here's what he had to say:

"Mate. Feed. Mate. Feed. Mate. Feed. Mate. Feed. Mate. Feed. Mate. Feed. Mate. Feed. Mate. Feed. Mate. Feed. Mate. Feed. Mate. Feed. Mate. Feed. Mate. Feed. Mate. Feed. Mate. Feed. Mate. Feed."

Wow, it sounds like you're really enjoying your Benefactor Grant! Here's a message from Sharron Browning, a mother of 3 and life-long resident of Ely, Nevada:

"My flesh for the queen. My blood for the queen. My life for the queen. The hive is the flesh. The queen is the heart. Kill for the hive. Mate for the hive. Feed for the hive. Die for the hive."

We can't express how happy we are that you're enjoying your Benefactor so much Sharron. Here's one more from Albert Pittman in Meriden, Connecticut:


Wow, sounds exciting Albert!

We'd love share all of the heartwarming messages we've received, but we simply don't have enough time. It has been brought to our understanding that, due to an error in the mailing department, a very small amount of you may have received art prints and the latest issue of Wayward instead of the intended Parasitic Benefactor. We'd apologize for the mix-up, but it appears you seem to be happy with your packages, so...even Stevens?

My current round of classes are coming to a close, which should free up a bit of time until they start over again. I have a few things in the works, so expect another update/announcement soon.


More terror for you to consume.

After much, much delay, Wayward #3 is now available in the online store. The plan was to have this up right after Wizard World, but distractions happened. Props to reader Ken for reminding me that it wasn't online yet. 

 I haven't forgotten about the Letterbombs - those of you on my list - I've just been busy as hell with school. As soon as I knock out all my homework projects, I have to go back and get more assigned to me. Damn teachers and their insistence that I show up to class and complete all their projects in a timely manner. I've also been distracted with a new commission piece and unfortunately stuff that keeps me from failing college and the stuff that actually puts some money in my pocket takes priority over sending stuff out for free out of the goodness of my cold, black heart. 

I will get everything sent out, I promise. Anyways, you're getting free stuff, so you can't really complain. So...yeah.

I need to start looking at other conventions to attend, but with everything else, it's a matter of finding the time to actually sit down and do the research. I'm definitely shooting for Wizard World Chicago, C2E2, and Acen on a yearly basis, as they're local;  but none of those are happening for a while and I'd like to find something coming up soon, if there are any. 

This is where I'd try to wind things down to avoid ending the post abruptly, but

Bomb Notice

I think I'm done with the post-con stuff. Dropping links, making contacts, etc. Here's what's next.

My parents are coming up to visit this weekend, so we've been preparing for that. After that, Wayward #4, letterbombs, and...uh, school. That starts next Tuesday. Hooray.

With what little free time I may have, my goal is to get Wayward #4 done as fast as possible. Of course, just because that's my goal doesn't mean it's going to happen, so you all can expect to read the next terrifying chapter sometime around March 2014.

Letterbombs however, start now.

As I write this, I'm posting this on a few lucky human's Facebook pages:

As soon as I get all the necessary information, extreme mailing action will begin.

I have a few other projects I'd like to start on soon, but with school starting up, I'm doubtful that'll happen. I also have a few conventions I'd like to go to, but I should probably focus on getting back into the school routine. This is not going to be fun.

I'm still not sure how this happened.

A bit of reiteration here, but bear with me for a second. There is a point to this, I think.
A few months ago, I was at Bry's house and the two of us were taking turns at Metroid. At some point, while Bry was at the controller, I drew what would become this:

I thought it looked amusing - it was a short little pudgy bastard Batman after all - so I threw it up on my Facebook. Nothing more was supposed to become of it. Then comments came in and I started taking requests, turning beloved comic book superheroes and running them through some terrible childhood obesity filter. My bastard Batman had become some sort of community-inspired, chub-based project. I'm still not caught up on the first round of requests.

Today, this happened:

As something of an experiment, the Chubs will be available at Chicago Comic Con as a very limited run of mini-prints. And by limited, I mean 2 of each. They will all be 4X6 inches, except for the Batman and Spawn prints, which are 5X7.

Oh yeah, they're also framed:

Each one will only be $10, but the supply is very limited. If I run out and there's demand for more, I'll try to hit up the printers and have them available the next day. The restocks will be unframed, so act fast.
Also, I'll be taking Chub commissions. Since I have to draw them by hand, scan them for digital inking and coloring, then have them printed; this is going to be an overnight deal. As in "you request it Friday and I'll have it available Saturday".
Commissions will be $15. They'll be unframed, 5X7 prints, but they will include both the final product and the original, hand drawn version.
Also, for all you people who made the initial Facebook requests that led to this series, you'll be getting your prints with your Letterbombs package sometime after the convention.
Free of charge, of course.

I don't want to think about book 4 right now.

Wayward #3 has successfully made it through the printing process. Don't believe me, you skeptical bastard? Fine, just ask Monster:

'Slam Dancing for Allah' is the follow up to the heart-warming article, 'Getting Crunked for Jesus'.
That's right, issues 1, 2, and 3. Ready to go in time for Chicago ComicCon. I have a 20-pound box sitting next to my station, filled with these damn books. Hopefully that box will be somewhat lighter by the end of the convention.

For the rest of the con prep. I still need to get the rest of the BitN prints (I only have Nigel and Junior in quantity so far), the Chubs prints. Then I need to get around to getting flyers and backdrops and table runners and business cards and breakfast cereals and nacho recipes and ransom notes ready.

So yeah, lots of shit, most of which requires money. Not a lot of time left.

I have managed to acquire passes for several of my horrible, horrible friends so they can help me deal with this...thing, so that's one thing off my list. I don't know if it's been mentioned here yet, but I do have a table, I just don't know what the table number is yet. More on that as it develops.


Since Wayward #3 is done, and I have a significant amount of new terrible art in print form, I plan on doing another round of letterbombs to you lucky cretins on my list. But I have to take care of this con thing first, so you'll have to continue holding your breath 'till late August / early September, except for Brodie, Bryan, Mary, DeVO, and Shorty; the aforementioned horrible friends who will be receiving their terrible art early in exchange for con support and torturous back-breaking labor.

When the letterbombing is ready, I'll be sending out notices requesting your addresses, because I apparently can't be bothered to remember that information.


In case you haven't been following this site for the past couple days, I've been cranking out these things:

There was really no direction to these things; they were just some quick and easy images I've been putting together to spread the word on The Simon Corporation's Benefactor Initiative. Aside from creating them and throwing them online, I really had no intention to do anything more with these, but I've gotten a few remarks on Facebook about printing these in some fashion, and now the idea is stuck in my head. You damn friends and your good ideas.

I honestly have no idea what, if anything, will become of these. Even if I decide on some manner of print, they definitely won't be making an appearance at Chicago ComicCon though, as my cup is full as it is.

Regardless of what I decide, the images will keep appearing until complete parasitic assimilation is complete.


Before I close out this meaningless stream of nothing, I want to congratulate Randy, Kendall, Minh, and Lisa, who all were married recently. (Not all together, there were two separate weddings. I'll let you figure out the pairings.) 

Congrats, guys. May you never wake to discover that your spouse was actually a very well-disguised velociraptor sent to spy on humans in their natural habitat.