New York Comic Con is coming up pretty fast; just two weeks and - in my case - one 3-hour flight of pants-shitting terror away. I'm getting everything in order and I'm pretty excited. About the show, not the pants-shitting.

If you are going to the con, chances are you probably want to have the best time possible and you're probably wondering how to do that. Well if you're an immature dick like me, your best option is to go meet Jason David Frank of Power Rangers fame and see how many times you can scream "WHITE POWER...ranger" at him. Aside from that, you should probably be at The Simon Corporation table. I'll be there (obviously) drawing scary pictures and lecturing everyone about how much better Chicago pizza is.

But where is the Simon Corporation table, you ask?
-I'll be at Artist Alley table AA15.
But where is Artist Alley table AA15?
-Well, here's an interactive map, but I've gone ahead and done the footwork for you. Observe:

Here's the convention center. You can't tell from this illustration, but I'm pretty certain centaurs patrol the perimeter. You'll have to be one with the shadows if you are to sneak past them. Then you'll head to the are labeled "funtimes". Avoid the "lameness" area at all cost, as that is not where I'll be. 

Behold, the funtimes pavilion! This is the area of the convention specifically designated to make dreams come true. Also, it's where I'm at. Let's zoom in on my area:

There I am/will be! I look so tiny in the future. Now that you know where I'm at, let's zoom in one more time to see exactly what you can expect at my table:

I'm never one to toot my own horn, but I gotta say: not only does that look like the best time ever, but it also looks highly educational! I feel this is definitive proof that if you come to the Simon Corporation table, you will leave as a significantly better person overall. I guarantee that*.

See you in two weeks!

*I absolutely DO NOT guarantee that. At all. Not in the slightest.