Dear video game industry: Stop making so many good games at the same fucking time.
Silent Hill Homecoming, Dead Space, Left 4 Dead, On the Rain Slick Precipice of Darkness: Episode 2, Gears of War 2, Mirror's Edge, LittleBigPlanet; that is the constantly growing list of games that I either have gotten, will get, or want to get from the begining of October to the end of November. I know there's some I've forgotten.
Please take a brief moment to note the complete lack of Wii titles there. What is wrong with that damn console?
Anyway, my humble question to you, the video game industry, is: How the fuck do you expect me to sate my nerdy video game addiction and still be a semi-functional human being? Video games aren't my entire life ya know. I've got responsiblities too. And here you are expecting me to get this ridiculous amount of awesome games and still manage to fit in time to go to work (The bastards insist that I actually show up every day.), interact with my wife on a semi-regular basis, and sleep and eat at least once a week.
I've already made sacrifices for you video game industry. My projects are slowing to a crawl and I have a fucking stack of comics sitting on my coffee table that I haven't read yet. But do I complain? No. I make these sacrifices, and what do I get? Even more awesome video games. Every time I turn around there's a new one coming out. Will you not be satisfied until I have completely written off food and caring human relationships?
Most people's calendars are full of human events: holidays, birthdays, anniversaries; mine is full of release dates and demo drops. When you ask most people what they're doing on the weekend, they say they're going out with friends, to the movies, on a hot date with a happening babe. I'm sitting on my couch, fighting zombie aliens on a fictional planet, occasionally being jolted by a fleeting memory of what it was like to be a real human being.
So, again, I must request - nay, plead - that you chill out on the awesome video games, at least for a short while; unless you truly do want to destroy what little shred of humanity I have left.
Except for you Wii. All I ask of you is at least one non-shit game. Just one. Can you do that for me? Finding a Wii in the store was next to fucking impossible, and as I see it collecting dust on my entertainment center, I can't help but wonder what the effort was for.